


Second Verse, Same as the First

by Kalcifer



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 05:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5079232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalcifer/pseuds/Kalcifer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peedee throughout Season One: on family, friendship, and the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Verse, Same as the First

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read my other character-centric fics, this is basically like those: angst and overly complicated sentences, without much in the way of plot. This one has a hopeful ending, at least.  
> Peedee is written with OCD in mind, but I don't have OCD and so have been intentionally vague about it. Please let me know if it's inaccurate!

You've never been what anyone would call optimistic, but when after the Frybo incident, you thought things were starting to look up. You got to actually contribute to the family business, and if your father still doesn't know how to talk to you, at least he remembers your name.

You start thinking that maybe there's more in your future than crushing monotony followed by death. Maybe there's something to Steven's philosophy; maybe he makes the world better through the sheer power of his optimism.

But you'll never know for sure, because that's when Steven stops hanging out with you. Sure, you see him sometimes when he wants a snack, but he doesn't seek you out for your company. Really, you can't blame him. He can do better than such a downer, especially a weird one like you who has to wash things an odd number of times (and that's on good days). From what you've heard, he has.

You start spending more time working, because it's not like you have much else to do. Besides, Ronaldo would rather investigate his conspiracies. It creeps you out sometimes, especially when he gets really into them, but they make him happy so you do your best to encourage them.  
You talk to Steven whenever he comes in for "the bits". Sadly, he's still one of your closer friends. He's generally got cool stories about the his latest adventure. You have nothing of interest, but you talk anyway and he never seems to notice. Having seen what the Gems are like when angry, you're okay with that.

And so your life continues, pretty much the same aside from brief interludes like the ocean's sudden vanishing and subsequent reappearance. Your father is making more of an effort, which is nice. He even takes you to see the fireworks. You're so excited that you let Steven see exactly how weird you are (stupid mistake), but he just changes the subject and you cover it up with a silly voice. It's not like your relationship is going to suffer much.

It's not until the giant hand appears in the sky that you finally snap. The Gems actually seem worried this time, so it has to be cataclysmic. You're already worried about the shop, and then Steven's car crashes and he runs back into town and you have no idea what's happening. You can't stop drumming your fingers, counting a beat one-two-three over and over and if you stop then Steven will die.

You're called back into town eventually, and you can breathe again because that means things are presumably okay. Ronaldo goes out to get a closer look at the pieces of the ship, leaving you alone with your father and you're too tired to keep holding back.

"Am I really that much of a burden?" you ask him.

"What?" he asks. "Look, I know this was hard and we're both tired. Why don't you lie down for a little bit and we can talk later."

You just want to lie down and never get up again, but since that's impossible you need to have this conversation. "The other day. You said that Ronaldo can't take care of himself but I can. Do I need to? Is it that hard for you?" You're crying now, but that's no surprise. You know full well that you're "excitable", which just means overly emotional.

Your dad shakes his head. "It was a compliment, Peedee. You're independent, and I trust you."

You try to calm yourself down. You're still crying, but at least you're not screaming when you say, "I just wanted to make you proud. That's why I started working at the shop. But you kept putting more responsibility on me, and I couldn't let you down, and I've been trying so hard to pull my own weight..."

You're not sure where you were going with that, and neither is he. He starts to say something, then stops and says instead, "I didn't mean to make you feel like a burden. I'm still not sure where I went wrong. Can you try to explain?"

You'd like to, but you can't begin to put it into words, and you're just so tired. "Forget it," you mumble, and head to your room. It's still early afternoon, but you fall asleep as soon as you lie down.

When you wake up, it's the middle of the night, but Ronaldo is on his laptop in the kitchen. You smile. At least you can count on your brother to stay the same. You get a snack, and as you eat he tells you about his latest investigation. "I couldn't get a piece of the hand to study. They're obviously scared of what I might learn. But I got some cool pictures for my blog!" He shows them to you, and you agree that they're cool. 

"I also ran into Steven on my Brooding Hill. I gave him some pretty good advice, if I do say so myself." He looks at you intently. "Of course, I'm always willing to give you advice. After all, I'm your experienced older brother. You can count on me!"

You reassure him that you don't need advice, but you can't seem to stop smiling. Steven seems to be okay, and your brother is happy, and the town is safe.

You start rebuilding the next day. Your father doesn't bring up your outburst, and neither do you. Things are still awkward between you, but when are they not? At least having a common goal keeps you from having to worry about it.

Life goes on.


End file.
